Sunday, February 27, 2011

Day 14 ~ A Hero That Has Let You Down

Dear (biological) Dad,

I hope that everyday you think about me, your only daughter, and you hate yourself for what you did to me.  I hope that you look in the mirror, and are disgusted at the person looking back at you.

I thought, no - I knew you hung the moon.  You could do anything, and you were my rock, my center, my life, and.... my Daddy.

I held on for years wondering what I could do better.  I got better grades, played better at all of the sports I was in - just to get you to notice me again, and for once put me before the many women that came in and out of our house.  I was good for the, 'Yea, I am a single Dad line,' and not much else after that.

I cried myself to sleep at night wondering what I did wrong, and wanting to understand what I could do differently to fix whatever I had done.  I was made to feel like I screwed everything up.

I will never forget the day that you let me go.  You called my Mother saying that I was ruining your marriage with Sandy.

I still defended you, and blindly loved you for years after that.  It was well into my adult years when I realized what you did to me.  To this day you try and make excuses for your behavior, and nothing ever rings with any blame on you.
It was everyone else.

I was your daughter - your only child.  Nothing, NOTHING should ever come between that.

You have ruined a part of me that will never be healed.

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